Mothers

I don't like my mom very much. There are too many things that annoy me about her. Like the way she eats, or makes embarrassing jokes. The way she forgets things all the time or answers all my questions slowly. Probably leading to the fact that she is exactly like me.
Being born on her birthday, I was given her exact looks and curse of curly hair. Though, I luckily have more of my Dad's personality, humor and taste in music. But still, I find myself wanting to keep a distance from her and I can't exactly capture why. I want to appreciate her for all she has done for me. She has always been on my side. She is a wonderful person, fair, honest, and all about balance. But why can't I bring myself to let her in?
If I didn't have a mother today, this very moment, I wouldn't be able to move for awhile. The shock. And then once I could move again, I would not know which direction to move. I would try to with my Dad's help, with my sisters and brother, but it would be very difficult.
I can only imagine. Where to go from there.

My whole family would be brought down, like God stripped the backbone of our lives away from us, and all we could do is pray to not fall apart.
The tradgedy would be losing her before I actually got her. If she was gone and I hadn't let her into my life yet.

So now, I want to know her. For who she is, and who she was. What was her greatest dream that never came true?
"Mom, are you happy?"
"Daughter, are you?"
She is so selfless; it doesn't matter. She sacrificed so many of her dreams for me I can't begin to comprehend.

Mothers and your love, that is impossible to comprehend, ridiculous to measure, I want to let you know that
I don't know. There is nothing I can really say in words. Except that you made everything what it is and your selfless devotion to your daughters and your sons is the greatest accomplishment on this Earth we could ever ask for.

You leave us soon, maybe unexpectedly, but when you go, you stay all around our hearts and you never leave those. Your love is still felt, because of your strength and power, but let us feel it, being reminded not of how it used to feel, but reminded now of the powerful joy felt that never leaves.